The Amazing Race Towards Self-Acceptance: Paul Mitskopoulos’ Story

From the Bell Let’s Talk blog

Paul Mitskopoulos is a Client Solutions Manager at LinkedIn, but he may look familiar to you if you watched The Amazing Race Canada on CTV. In 2017, Paul and his partner Sam Lambert won the fifth season of the show! We talked to Paul about his transformational journey, from the mental health challenges he faced before coming out to overcoming his fear of judgement from others, both on the show and in his everyday life.

Tell us about your experience with mental illness growing up.

Paul: I was never formally diagnosed, but I had symptoms of depression, and felt alone and isolated. I didn’t come out until I was 23, so I worked through a lot of years where I struggled with my own personal identity. I wasn’t confident or proud about who I was, and because I was bottling up my issues, I found it difficult to connect and talk to people. I grew up in Toronto, which is an accepting city, but I didn’t feel as though I had a strong connection with the gay community there. This just made me feel more alone and confused.

Can you tell us about your experience coming out?

Paul: I had a difficult time struggling with accepting my sexuality. I had a fear of judgement – I didn’t want to be stereotyped or put into a box. My mind went into worst case scenarios, like “I might lose my friends or my job”, but I feel very lucky to have such an open and accepting community of people surrounding me. Even though I was scared to come out, I’m glad I did, because everyone was so supportive.

We loved watching you on The Amazing Race Canada this summer! What motivated you apply for the show?

Paul: I’ve always been fan of the show, and I’ve been watching it for years with my family. I love traveling and I’m competitive, so being on the Amazing Race was always something that appealed to me. After coming out, though, I had a new reason to apply – to share my story. I wanted to tell people that you can live your true, authentic life and be happy living it.
After I was selected to be on the show, I was worried that people would comment negatively, on not only my performance in the challenges, but my sexuality. But what I wasn’t prepared for was the thousands of positive messages. So many men and women of all ages were talking about how they struggled with coming out, and they were so inspired to see my partner and I being open and happy on a national television show, positively representing the community. I was so happy I could be a positive influencer to so many people.

You mention that your fear of judgment is something you’ve struggled with over the years. Was this something that you experienced during The filming of The Amazing Race Canada?
Paul: It was very prevalent prior to starting the Race, but once I was in it, I was swept up in the challenges, so that allowed me to focus. Fear wasn’t top-of-mind for me. I spent a lot of time self-reflecting, though, which was tough. I’d second-guess myself, wondering if I looked okay during the legs of the race, or what audiences would think if I kissed Sam in front of the camera. How I coped with these feelings was focusing on the outcome. I thought about why I was doing this. At the end of the day I was afraid of judgement, but I wanted to share my story, and that’s what got me through it and put that fear at the back of my mind. Having Sam there as a person I could talk to and confide in also helped me work through my feelings of uncertainty.

Do you still feel fearful of judgment today? How do you overcome these feelings of self-doubt?
Paul: I don’t have a fear of it any more. When you’re doing a presentation, or an interview, or just talking to someone in everyday life, you can be judged. But I just focus on what my outcome and what I’m trying to achieve, whether it’s doing a great presentation or, in the Race, sharing my story and winning challenges. If you focus on making your objectives happen, it eliminates a lot of the fear in that situation. I focus on the achievement and the goal rather than the fear along the way.

Do you have any tips? Is there a process you follow?

… continue reading …

Scientists Reveal How to Train Your Brain To Prevent Unwanted Thoughts

Originally posted at Power of Positivity

“Our ability to control our thoughts is fundamental to our well-being. When this capacity breaks down, it causes some of the most debilitating symptoms of psychiatric diseases.” ~ Professor Michael Anderson, University of Cambridge

Researchers at the University of Cambridge have identified a key chemical within the brain that allows us to suppress unwanted (intrusive) thoughts.

Dr. Michael Anderson, a professor of neuroscience – along with his team of researchers at the University of Cambridge – discovered this chemical within the brain region responsible for memory formation.

Further, the research helps explain why individuals with certain mental health conditions – e.g., anxiety, depression, PTSD, and schizophrenia – often contend with continuously invasive thoughts.

The ability to control thoughts is crucial to mental and physical well-being, says Professor Anderson:

“When this capacity breaks down, it causes some of the most debilitating symptoms of psychiatric diseases: intrusive memories, images, hallucinations, ruminations, and pathological and consistent worries. These are all key symptoms of mental illnesses such as PTSD, schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety.”

In many ways, the ability to halt negative thinking is akin to that of physical restraint. “We wouldn’t be able to survive without controlling our actions,” says Anderson. “We have lots of quick reflexes that are often useful, but we need to control these actions and stop them from happening.”

Anderson assumes that us humans also have a “similar mechanism” for stopping unwanted thoughts.

The Prefrontal Cortex, or PFC, is known as the “executive function” area of the brain. The PFC is associated with planning complex behaviors, paying attention, critical thinking, solving problems, self-awareness, decision-making, social cognition, and working memory.

The PFC can also be thought of as the brain’s “control center,” regulating other brain regions such as the motor cortex and hippocampus.

It wasn’t until recently that an area of the PFC was discovered to also play an essential role in stopping unwanted thoughts.

The Study

Anderson’s research was published in the journal Nature Communications on November 3, 2017.

Using a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) and magnetic resonance spectroscopy (measures brain chemistry), researchers observed the brains of participants as they attempted to suppress their thoughts on a given task.

Spectroscopy feedback showed that “the ability to inhibit unwanted thoughts relies on a neurotransmitter – a chemical within the brain that allows messages to pass between cells – known as GABA.”

GABA is the brain’s primary inhibitory neurotransmitter, which helps to regulate the activity of exhibitory (‘excitatory’) transmitters, e.g., glutamate and dopamine.

Here is a summation of Anderson’s findings, point-by-point:

– GABA concentrations within the hippocampus, the brain area responsible for memory formation, determines a person’s ability to inhibit unwanted thoughts.

– Suppressing unwanted thoughts is dependent “as much” on PFC activity as the hippocampus. (This bucks the trend, as most neuroscientists focus on the PFC for such roles.)

– People with lower concentrations of GABA within the hippocampus “were less able to suppress (activity) by the prefrontal cortex,” suppressing thought at a much lower rate.

– The study’s discoveries may lead to additional insights – and potential treatment options – for schizophrenia. (Schizophrenics display hyperactivity in the hippocampus, which is thought to be responsible for hallucinations and other intrusive symptoms.)

Boosting GABA levels

As Anderson’s research is very recent, potential treatments have not yet been examined. However, it’s clear that correcting a GABA deficiency – a neurochemical imbalance – can be helpful in suppressing unwanted thoughts.

For those dealing with invasive thoughts, increasing the levels of GABA in the brain may help. Fortunately, there are plenty of natural ways to do this.

Here are a few known GABA boosters:

– Exercise: Increasing your heart rate has been shown to boost your GABA levels. Brisk walking or running, three to four times per week, may contribute to higher levels of GABA.

– Meditation: Quieting your busy mind and focusing on deep breaths may help increase GABA levels. Try meditating for 10 to 15 minutes to start.

– Yoga: Maintaining focus on the present moment may help boost GABA levels. Additionally, yoga focuses on deep breathing, which helps to reduce feelings of stress and anxiety.

– Proper Diet: Stay away from soft drinks, MSG, and processed foods as much as possible. Instead, eat foods that are rich in glutamic acid, a building block of GABA.

Foods high in glutamic acid include:

  • Almonds and walnuts
  • Bananas
  • Beef liver
  • Broccoli
  • Brown rice
  • Halibut
  • Lentils
  • Oats
  • Citrus fruits
  • Potato
  • Rice bran
  • Spinach

A Japanese Buddhist Master reveals 21 rules of life that will blow your mind

By Lachlan Brown for Hackspirit

For years I struggled to find the peace I really wanted.

You know the dream:

  • Happiness
  • Not overthinking
  • No anxiety
  • Physically fit

And the to live every moment without being distracted by the past or the future.

During that time, I lived with anxiety, insomnia and way too much useless thinking going on in my head. It was never easy.

One of the reasons I was never truly at peace was because of one recurring problem: I couldn’t learn to “accept” where I was without wishing it were different.

Because avoiding and fighting against what is happening inside you only makes it worse.

Unfortunately, acceptance is also really hard to cultivate. We’re practically wired to not accept the moment if it’s not 100% comfortable.

So, what can we do?

What helped me was coming across Japanese Buddhist master Miyamoto Mushashi’s 21 rules of life.

Known as Japan’s greatest ever swordsman, he wrote these 21 rules 2 weeks before his death.

Each rule teaches you to accept your circumstances in life, detach from outside forces you can’t control and be comfortable with who you are.

I find these rules powerful because the only way to cultivate acceptance is through continued practice in your actions and your attitude. The two things we actually have control over.

And these rules give you the necessary guidelines to do just that.

It might take months to rewire your brain, but it’s well worth it.

Check them out:

1) Accept everything just the way it is.

Acceptance is perhaps the most important attitude to overcome mental challenges in life.

It’s a state of mind. There’s no destination or goal with acceptance. It’s simply the process of exercising the mind to be tolerant of anything life throws at us.

Why is it powerful?

Because instead of fighting against negative emotions like anxiety and stress, you’re actually accepting them the way they are. You’re not bitter, and you’re not creating more negativity out of your negativity.

Through acceptance you pave the path for negative emotions like anxiety to become less powerful. You’re not fighting against them and making them worse.

But to be clear: Acceptance is not the following: It’s not indifference or apathy. It does not involve giving up or not trying. It’s simply about accepting things without judging them.

It is what it is. Whatever happens happens. It’s about being patient and allowing the natural flow of things to take place.

2) Do not seek pleasure for its own sake.

As humans, we’re unhappiest when we become dissatisfied with what we have, and decide that we want more.

When we seek pleasure for pleasure’s sake, we put ourselves in an endless loop of desiring that’s only temporarily satisfied when we experience that pleasure.

But feelings don’t last forever. And before you know it, you’ll be back desiring again.

This doesn’t mean you can’t have fun and enjoy pleasure when you experience it. It just means you won’t be constantly seeking pleasure for its own sake. You appreciate what you have in every moment, and sometimes that will be pleasurable emotions.

But you also won’t be unhappy when you aren’t experiencing pleasure.

3) Do not, under any circumstances, depend on a partial feeling.

Same as above, feelings don’t last forever. Emotions are transient. You won’t be happy all the time, and wanting to be so will only make you unhappy.

4) Think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world.

When you think of yourself too much, you amplify your ego and your insecurities.

Happy people are the ones who focus on helping others. There’s a beautiful Chinese Proverb which describes this perfectly:

“If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.”

In other words: Be humble, don’t take yourself too seriously and focus on helping others.

5) Be detached from desire your whole life long.

Buddhism says that desiring leads to suffering. Why? Because when you’re desiring, you’re dissatisfied with what you have right now.

And when you get what you want, this leads you down an endless loop of desiring.

If you can forget about the idea of wanting, you can learn to be comfortable and grateful for what you have right now, which is key to inner peace.

6) Do not regret what you have done.

Regret is a useless emotion, isn’t it? You can’t change what’s happened. Yes, you can learn from what happened, but that doesn’t involve experiencing regret.

I know that sometimes we can’t help but regret things in life, but it’s important not to dwell on it. It’s useless to do so.

7) Never be jealous.

Another useless emotion. It also means you’re insecure with yourself, because you’re envious of someone else.

Instead, look inside yourself and be grateful for who you are and what you have.

8) Never let yourself be saddened by separation.

It sucks to separate from someone you want to be with. But getting sad over it won’t help you or them.

Sometimes you just need to toughen up and appreciate what you have, not what you lose.

9) Resentment and complaint are appropriate neither for oneself nor others.

Again, complaining without action doesn’t help you achieve anything. It only serves to raise your toxic energy.

And don’t let what other people do affect you as well. You’re not in control of what they do. But you are in control of how you react to what they do.

10) Do not let yourself be guided by the feeling of lust or love.

This one’s probably a controversial one for many. For me, too. I think we can all agree that you don’t want to be guided by lust. It’s similar to chasing emotions that don’t last forever and will only give you temporary fulfilment.

Love, however, is a different story. I don’t know about you, but I think that love is one of the most important emotions to be guided by. Your family is everything, whoever they are, and your life is much more fulfilled when you do whatever you can for them.

11) In all things have no preferences.

Similar to desiring, by having preferences, you’re not happy with what you have right now. You’re dissatisfied and unable to enjoy the present moment.

So if you can, try not to prefer something over something else, especially if you can’t control it.

12) Be indifferent to where you live.

If you can change where you live, then by all means go ahead. And don’t stop looking for opportunities to do so.

But besides doing that, it’s more fulfilling to appreciate where you are right now, rather than wishing it were different.

13) Do not pursue the taste of good food.

Interesting one. Focus on eating to be healthy and for nourishment. Desiring delicious food can lead to addiction and attachment. This goes for alcohol and drugs, too.

14) Do not hold onto possessions you no longer need.

It’s easy to get cluttered with junk that you don’t need. But if it’s not benefiting your life, get rid of it. More space and clear thinking is what’s needed. Not more stuff.

15) Do not act following customary beliefs.

Follow your own common sense. Do what makes sense to your own values, not what other people think. Decide for yourself.

You know what’s right and wrong. You don’t need someone else to tell you.

16) Do not collect weapons or practice with weapons beyond what is useful.

A tribute to his swordsman time, but we can apply this for our lives, too. It’s better to be an expert in one thing, than okay at everything.

17) Do not fear death.

Extremely hard to do. But it’s something none of us will escape. We can either learn to accept that our own and our close one’s time will eventually come, or fight against it causing anxiety and sadness for the rest of our lives.

18) Do not seek to possess either goods or fiefs for your old age.

What good will they do you when you’re gone? Only collect what is useful. Don’t waste your time.

19) Respect Buddha and the Gods without counting on their help.

Take responsibility for yourself. Don’t count on luck or god to pull you through. Tackle the endeavors you know are within your capabilities. Keep doing the right thing and everything else will fall into place.

20) You may abandon your own body but you must preserve your honor.

Don’t do anything that you won’t be able to live with for the rest of your life. Your actions define you, not your beliefs.

21) Never stray from the way.

Stay humble, do the right thing and always keep learning and growing.

The Bloom Program in Nova Scotia

This summer, I happened to see a flyer in a pharmacy in Cape Breton. And it was very nice to see a pro-active campaign designed to help, that includes a quality assurance element from pharmacies themselves.

Well done Nova Scotia!

Here is a little about the program:

All pharmacies in Nova Scotia are required by law to follow professional standards of practice. Relevant to the Bloom Program these include: patient-centred drug therapy management; confidentiality of patient information; to educate and provide drug and non-drug information; to promote health in the community; and to promote collaborative relationships with healthcare providers and others.*

The program aims to improve the health and well being of people living with mental illness and addictions. Patients registered with the program can expect in-depth, patient-centred medication therapy management, with a focus on mental and physical health problems as well as medication-related issues. In addition, pharmacies participating in the program support navigation of the system helping people to find local services and supports, referral to the appropriate level of care when needed, and offer education and resources about mental illness, addictions, and medications.

Patients are eligible for the program if they have a diagnosed mental illness or addiction causing functional impairment and a current medication therapy issue. Eligible diagnoses are those that are commonly managed by psychotropic medications.

For each person enrolling in the program, the goals are to support recovery, address the most important health and medication issues, and be discharged from the program after 6 months. Extensions are possible.

The key principle and commitments of the program are provided in the Program Charter.

The program prioritizes patient-centred care, confidentiality, and collaboration. Pharmacists will work collaboratively with patients, their personal supports (i.e., those people identified by the patient who are in their circle of care), and their health team.

Participating pharmacies have developed and are continuing to develop linkages within their communities to support people living with mental illness and addictions. This includes providing print resources and local information about mental health and addictions support and services. If you are a local mental health organization or provide patient support or service feel free to contact a Bloom pharmacy near you.

The Bloom Program is the first of its kind in Canada and internationally. It is funded by the Nova Scotia Department of Health and Wellness and is part of the Nova Scotia mental health and addictions strategy. There are no additional costs to patients enrolling in the program. Quality of care is of the highest priority. Pharmacies participating in the program have agreed to undergo quality assurance measures. The program is being comprehensively evaluated.

Click here for the Bloom Program website.

Is Mindfulness Meditation Science-Based?

Existing research has not yet clearly defined what mindfulness is and what effect it has. The hype clearly has gone beyond the science, and more rigorous research is needed to determine what specific effects there are, if any.

Steven Novella on October 18, 2017

A great deal of electronic ink has been spread on these pages discussing the question of what it means to be science-based. While we have developed and iterated an operational definition, like many complex phenomena there is no sharp demarcation line. Practices occur along a spectrum from rigidly science-based to blatant quackery.

There are plenty of practices, however, that are in the middle. Further, an individual practice can range across the spectrum depending on the claims that are being made for it. “Nutrition” as an approach to health can be rigidly scientific (folate for pregnant women to reduce the incidence of neural tube defects) or pure snake oil (“superfoods” to cure what ails you).

One practice that I think straddles this middle-zone is mindfulness meditation (or just mindfulness). The “dictionary” definition of mindfulness is, “a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.” But before we get into more detail about this practice, let’s review what we mean by “science-based.”

What is science-based practice?

This, of course, is the core question of Science-Based Medicine and a topic of deep thought by its proponents. I will try to give the quickest definition I can here. SBM acknowledges that medical interventions which are safe and effective are preferred over practices which are unsafe or ineffective. Further, the best way to evaluate practices is by considering all of the available scientific evidence in the most thorough context.

Read the full article here.

Florence K, Quebec Artist speaks on mental health

(Linked article in English.)

Il y a deux ans, je publiais mon livre “Buena Vida”(Groupe Librex) qui, comme vous le savez peut-être, relate mon expérience de la maladie mentale. Ce mois-ci, je suis porte-parole du Festival des Films sur la Maladie Mentale,Au Contraire. Il est vraiment grand temps en 2017 que les tabous entourant la dépression et la maladie mentale tombent une bonne fois pour toute et que l’aide et les ressources soient plus accessibles et il faut continuer d’en parler, comme l’on parlerait de n’importe quelle maladie physique!


Google translation:

Two years ago, I published my book “Buena Vida” (Groupe Librex) which, as you may know, describes my experience of mental illness. This month, I am spokesperson for the mental illness film festival, Au Contraire. It is very high time in 2017 that the taboos surrounding depression and mental illness end once and for all and that aid and resources are more accessible and we must continue to talk about it, as we would talk about What a physical disease!

http://montrealgazette.com/…/brownstein-quebec-singer-speak…

#mentalhealthawareness #santémentale #nomorestigma

‘In the picture of my life, I don’t exist’: Calgary city councillor shares struggles with depression

Brian Pincott says he’s been fighting suicidal feelings, on and off, since he was 16 years old

David Bell – CBC News

A Calgary city councillor tweeted about his personal struggles with years of suicidal bouts, for the first time, on World Suicide Prevention Day and says it’s time to fight the stigma.

“I just broke the back of a 4.5 yr deep depression, with many days where suicide was close. People are struggling all around us,” Brian Pincott wrote on the social media platform.

Pincott says beyond very close friends, he had not previously shared his experience publicly.

“At its worst, I described it to my psychologist one day, I said, ‘In the picture of my life, I don’t exist,'” he said.

“As I went further and further down the hole, not recognizing that I was getting further and further down the hole, I started doing things like peeling off family, having no contact with family. Then I peeled off friends and had no contact with friends to try and survive.”

‘Stopped existing’

He says he lost 35 pounds and focused completely on his work.

“Brian, the person, stopped existing and Brian, the councillor, was the only thing left in my life,” he said.

“If I can just concentrate on my job, on Brian the councillor, at least there will be one group of people that I will try not to let down, to disappoint, and I will be able to survive in some way.”

But later that year, Pincott did confide in his family doctor and a psychologist, who together convinced him to consider prescription medication options, which he had until then resisted.

“For a period of a-year-and-a-half to two years after that, I think I saw my family doctor, on average, every two weeks. We went through nine versions of medication. I saw psychiatrists and psychologists and I am thankful that I had a doctor who was tenacious, who didn’t give up on me when I was ready. In 2015/2016, when I was ready to give up, I didn’t care anymore, I had a doctor who wasn’t ready to give up and she kept working at it.”

By early 2017 he felt better equipped to handle things.

“My goal now is to work with her to have the tools in place to be able to interrupt the cycle earlier as opposed to when you are sliding too deeply down the hole,” Pincott said.

He’s far from alone in struggling with suicide and mental health issues.

Men 3X more likely to die by suicide

Statistics Canada reports 4,054 Canadians died by suicide in 2013, suicide rates among men were three times higher than women, people between 40 and 59 had the highest rates and single people have higher rates than those with partners.

Suicide is also a leading cause of death among young people ages 15 to 34.

Sharon Basaraba
‘Listening can be the greatest assistance,’ Sharon Basaraba says, on responding to someone with suicidal thoughts. (Twitter)

A nationally syndicated longevity columnist has said gender stereotypes and expectations don’t help the matter.

“I am generalizing here but typically women and younger men are able to discuss challenges more openly, get support that way,” Sharon Basaraba told Daybreak Alberta in November.

“That might not really be true for middle-aged men, in their 40s and 50s. They are kind of the sandwich generation, emulating their fathers, that kind of stoicism, be strong, it is a weakness to admit that you are vulnerable, that you have lost your job, you define yourself that way.”

Brandy Payne, Alberta’s associate health minister, says Pincott was brave to speak out.

“I’m grateful for those who’ve come forward to share their experiences,” Payne said in a statement to CBC News.

“And I hope that hearing these personal stories helps fight the shame surrounding mental illness. We can all be a part of the conversation around mental health and suicide.”

For Pincott, the issue will always be there, but it’s a matter of learning to face it head on.

“I feel stronger. It is something that I can raise awareness about to break down the stigma because stigma doesn’t serve anybody,” Pincott said.

“Stigma leads to suicide, stigma leads to self-medication and doesn’t serve anybody. It sure as hell didn’t serve me.”

Pincott says the issue is not related to his decision to not run for city council in the upcoming election, but that his doctor is not unhappy with that decision.

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, there are resources available. In Calgary, call the Distress Centre at 403-266-HELP (4357). In Alberta and the rest of Canada, call 1-877-303-2642.

3 Common Misbeliefs About Suicide

From ActiveMinds

Changing the conversation about mental health is hard!

Your plans to hold a suicide prevention or mental health event on campus or at a workplace, for example, may be disturbing to some people or make them uncomfortable. No doubt about it, talking about mental illness and suicide can be difficult, but it’s also necessary to reducing the stigma that prevents many from seeking help if they need it.

In recognition of Suicide Prevention Week, we asked three of Active Minds’ most accomplished student chapter leaders how they would respond to the following common misbeliefs about suicide. As always, we were blown away by their thoughtful and empathetic words and approach.

Kate Middleton explains in simple terms what mental health means in candid video

From Mashable

Kate Middleton has spoken out about the difficulty in opening up about one’s mental health in a video aimed at children and parents.

Appearing in a video for charity Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Families, the Duchess of Cambridge explained in simple terms what “mental health” means.

“Mental health is how we feel and think, things that can’t really be seen but affect us everyday. And talking about them can feel difficult,” she said. 

The Duchess’ words act by way of introduction to a short animation aimed at children to help them find the words to talk about mental health. The Duchess explained that the animation can help figure out “what to say and who to talk to when we have feelings that are too big to manage on our own.”

The animation gives a simple breakdown of what the term “mental health” means, and it features tips and advice from children and adults on talking about thoughts, feelings and emotions.

“Sometimes it’s just a simple conversation that can make things better,” Kate added.

Hope > Vision > Action | Copyright 2019 ©. All Rights Reserved. Some images from Pixabay.