We are active on QUORA – a forum where people ask questions looking for answers from experts in any given field. This question seemed particularly poignant to us today.
What do you do when you are already in therapy and on medication but you remain depressed?
The good news? You’re normal – it is very common for it to take a while to find the right medical mix as well as to find the right therapeutic mix.
The bad news? Well – your work is not done. I say “bad news” but really, it’s not that bad if you can keep it in your head that you *are* working toward a solution and that if you keep working, you will find it.
Meditation helped me most of all. As a supplement to both psychotherapy and medication in the beginning. Be careful with meds – some few people do need to stay on them for a long time, but very often, they should be considered a short term boost to get yourself into a place where you are capable of doing the other work you need to do.
That work? Getting to the root issues. And finding ways to get past those issues. To be OK again. To find ways to get yourself OK before things get worse.
Asking this question was smart – you are obviously in tune with yourself, and still asking questions. BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT – it means you’re on the right track.
When children scrape their knees, they know it’s an injury that needs to be treated. But when they suffer from something mentally, they might not know it’s just as important to have their minds cared for too.
Maintaining good mental health should be considered a lesson not only for adults but for children as well.
“I used to see this level of stress in high schoolers who were applying to college,” said Katie Hurley, a child and adolescent psychotherapist and the author of The Happy Kid Handbook: How to Raise Joyful Children in a Stressful World. “Now I have 5-year-olds in my office who are dealing with anxiety disorders and excessive stress.”
We spoke to experts in psychology, pediatrics and mindfulness for tips on how to teach kids the importance of mental health. They offered five interesting ways to get children to express themselves, feel validated in their emotions and take care of their minds just as much as their bodies.
Try the ‘emotional volcano’ method
Hurley said she talks to kids and parents about their feelings using the “emotional volcano.” She draws a volcano on a whiteboard and explains that everyone has different feelings throughout the day. When we don’t express those feelings, they remain in the volcano until it erupts.
“If we just leave those feelings in the volcano, they start to really bubble and bubble and bubble until they come flying out and exploding, and that’s when you get the crying, hitting and kicking,” she said.
Yoga and meditation have both seen a huge surge in popularity in past years — the number of Americans who have tried yoga alone has increased 50 percent in the past four years. It is often assumed that the people who could benefit most from yoga are those working stressful jobs; however, this ignores the incredible potential of these practice for the elderly.
Whether you are a senior yourself or a caregiver to one, it’s never too late to introduce the benefits of yoga and meditation.
What are Yoga and Meditation?
Most of us know about yoga due to its recent boom in popularity as a fitness craze, but its origins go back 5,000 years to Hindu priests seeking to achieve unity between mind, body, and spirit. The practice of meditation was also first recorded within the Hindu faith, but it soon spread to other regions of Asia. Both of them made their way to America in the 20th century and have grown as a cultural phenomenon since.
Although yoga and meditation are two separate practices, they often go together. This is because yoga has deeply meditative properties, and the two practices are extremely complimentary. Both involve a focus on deep, mindful breathing exercises, and an aim to provide a sense of clarity and mental well-being.
Yoga combines physical fitness, breathing, and meditation into one practice. However, many people who do yoga also practice meditation in a more traditional sense, which is a fully mental exercise rather than a physical one.
How Can They Help the Elderly?
There are a few ways that yoga and meditation can specifically benefit senior citizens:
Yoga promotes flexibility and balance, both of which can reduce the chance of injury from a fall or trip. According to Reuters, just 20 hours of yoga could significantly improve balance and mobility in seniors.
Yoga can help with joint pain and arthritis, making chronic pain more manageable.
Both yoga and meditation can improve focus. In fact, a 2014 study on the effects of meditation on the elderly indicated that it could offset age-related cognitive decline.
Both have been shown to alleviate symptoms of depression, which affects 7 million American adults over the age of 65.
How to Get Started
For yoga, you should start by joining a class. Though there are thousands of online instructional videos you could do at home, you should at least learn the basics with a teacher before moving on to solo practice. There are plenty of yoga classes out there specifically for senior citizens, and joining one could be a great way to meet new people while making sure you stay safe in your movements.
As for meditation, you can either join a local group or do it at home. It can be difficult to concentrate in a room in which you usually eat, sleep, or watch TV, so ideally, you should create a dedicated room for your meditation practice. Decorate it with anything that helps you relax, such as candles, incense, or plants. The only furniture you need is a comfortable chair.
To get you started with meditation practice, set aside 20 minutes of your day to sit in your dedicated room, either in silence or with meditative music playing, focusing on your breathing. Every time your mind wanders to something else, guide it back to your breathing. You may not be able to clear your mind the first time, and that is normal — like anything else, you will get better with practice.
Starting a yoga or meditation practice can feel intimidating, but it is actually very simple. The most important thing to remember is that despite what you might have heard, there is not a right or wrong way to do yoga or meditation — both are flexible to your needs and abilities. There is nothing about being older that stops you from enjoying their benefits, which means that it’s time to invest in a yoga mat and start practicing mindfulness.
Some words of wisdom from one of today’s most influential spiritual figures.
From happiness to personal growth and empowerment, Tenzin Gyatso, better recognized as the 14th Dalai Lama, has much to teach the rest of us. Beyond his presence in Asia, throughout his life the Dalai Lama has spread his virtues and values to the rest of the world, promoting happiness, self satisfaction, success and more.
Yet, how did the Dalai Lama become so wise? At age two, he was recognized as the reincarnation of the previous 13th Dalai Lama, and by 15 years old, before finishing school, he was called upon to assume full political power after China’s invasion of Tibet in 1950. However, by 1959, the Dalai Lama escaped into exile in India after the Tibetan uprising, where he currently lives as a refugee.
Today, the Tibetan leader travels the world to speak on topics such as equality, environment, women’s rights, health, faith and various Buddhist teachings. In 1989, the monk was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts in peacefully liberating Tibet, and he has since become a major figure, influence and advocate for social and human rights.
Two of the main energies shaping this time of year, the winter solstice and the holidays, seem to be at odds. On one hand, we have the increased darkness of the shortened days, while, on the other, everywhere we see the colorful lights of the festive season. But what I really love about this mashup is how these energies combine to naturally turn our minds to two other important things that mark this season: all that we are grateful for and all that we aspire to.
In this last blog of 2017, I’d like to leave you with some of both. I’d like to emphasize the “some” because the two lists are way too long to detail here, and for everyone one that I include I’m sure I’ll leave another two out.
Our Gratitude
First and foremost, I’m grateful for the indomitable mindful spirit in us all—the intelligence that seeks insight and awareness, that yearns for a more inclusive way to see and a more healthy way to be—both alone and in relationship. We’ve seen in the many hardships of 2017 how people’s essential goodness shines through in even the most challenging situations.
In the world of mindfulness, we see this human spirit moving in both the big and the small, as I talked about in my last blog. We are grateful for the well-known champions and famous mindfulness leaders, thinkers, funders, strategists, all who impact the big picture and the critical leverage points. They give the talks, write the articles, and set the trends. We can’t do without them.
We’re equally thankful for all the local champions, so many of you in neighborhoods everywhere inspired to bring the benefits of mindfulness, kindness, and compassion practices to your communities. You’re too many to name but so inspiring to us, so we send along a shout out and thank you to you all.
Existing research has not yet clearly defined what mindfulness is and what effect it has. The hype clearly has gone beyond the science, and more rigorous research is needed to determine what specific effects there are, if any.
A great deal of electronic ink has been spread on these pages discussing the question of what it means to be science-based. While we have developed and iterated an operational definition, like many complex phenomena there is no sharp demarcation line. Practices occur along a spectrum from rigidly science-based to blatant quackery.
There are plenty of practices, however, that are in the middle. Further, an individual practice can range across the spectrum depending on the claims that are being made for it. “Nutrition” as an approach to health can be rigidly scientific (folate for pregnant women to reduce the incidence of neural tube defects) or pure snake oil (“superfoods” to cure what ails you).
One practice that I think straddles this middle-zone is mindfulness meditation (or just mindfulness). The “dictionary” definition of mindfulness is, “a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.” But before we get into more detail about this practice, let’s review what we mean by “science-based.”
What is science-based practice?
This, of course, is the core question of Science-Based Medicine and a topic of deep thought by its proponents. I will try to give the quickest definition I can here. SBM acknowledges that medical interventions which are safe and effective are preferred over practices which are unsafe or ineffective. Further, the best way to evaluate practices is by considering all of the available scientific evidence in the most thorough context.
In order to be calm and at ease with ourselves, we need regular periods where we do something rather strange-sounding: process our emotions. Here is a guide to this essential psychological move.
“We act how we think and feel. When we remove the negative thought, with it goes the drama and pain.” – Anon.
Negative thoughts serve absolutely no purpose. Zero. None. Not-a-one. Know what else?
Negative thinking has absolutely nothing to do with you as a person. Toxic thoughts don’t define your character, and they can’t determine your destiny. Wedetermine the power of each negative thought. Unfortunately, we often grant negative thoughts too much influence – and this is what causes damage.
The Buddha once said: “Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.”
Notice the word unguarded in Buddha’s teaching. As he is with most things pertaining to the mind, Buddha is once again supremely wise. Sometimes negative thoughts have a tendency to hang around – this is when cognitive reframing (i.e. ‘cognitive restructuring’) is essential.
Dr. Alice Boyes, a former clinical psychologist and author of The Anxiety Toolkit, describes cognitive restructuring as “a core part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT),” which Dr. Boyes says “is one of the most effective psychological treatments.”
No, you don’t need to participate in CBT to learn cognitive restructuring.
In fact, in this article, we’re going to teach some fundamentals of cognitive restructuring. While you may not become an expert on the technique, you’ll walk away informed and – more importantly – empowered.
HERE ARE 5 WAYS TO REFRAME NEGATIVE THOUGHTS:
1. OBSERVE THE THOUGHT
Take a seat in the far back of your mind and simply observe the negative thought. (Think about how you’d watch a bird flutter about on a rooftop.)
Negative thoughts are generally a product of cognitive distortions, or irrational thought patterns, something recognized by psychologists and psychiatrists the world over. You don’t require psychotherapy or medication – you only need to observe a thought, and then watch it dissipate.
2. QUESTION ANY RUMINATIONS
Ruminations are patterns of overthinking, e.g., “I have this problem, which I can solve if I just keep thinking about it.” Unless you’re actively engaging the frontal lobe of your brain – that is, attempting to solve a problem – most ruminations are pointless.
The question then becomes “How do I reframe these thoughts?”
Here is a suggested course of action:
(a) Create two columns on a sheet of paper. Label the first column “Thought” and the second column “Solution.”
(b) When the rumination appears, write down the time. Write anything of use in the “solution” column.
(c) At the end of the day/week/month, count the number of times the thought appeared and any insights.
Is there anything of value? If not, re-read #1.
3. DETERMINE THE EVIDENCE
Another way of reframing your thoughts is to evaluate the evidence behind them.
For example, if you’re always thinking “I never have enough money,” it may be helpful to assess the evidence and come to a solution (if needed).
Once again, you’ll create two columns. In Column (A) write any supporting proof that you “never have enough money,” e.g. bank account balance, always asking for money, etc. In Column (B) write any objective evidence demonstrating the contrary, e.g. having shelter, food, clothing, and so on.
What information is conveyed through this exercise? Can you say with 100 percent honesty that you “never have enough money”? If so, what’s the next course of action? Do you create a budget and limit your spending?
4. PRACTICE MINDFULNESS
What better place to mention mindfulness than after talking about money – a near-universal stressor?
Christopher Bergland, a three-time champion of the Triple Ironman triathlon and scientist, explains mindfulness as “much more basic than most people realize.” Bergland breaks down his approach to mindfulness in three steps: “Stop. Breathe. Think about your thinking. Anyone can use this simple mindfulness technique throughout the day to stay calm, focused, optimistic and kind.”
Structured mindfulness meditation practices and techniques, such as Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction (MBSR) exist for those people seeking more formal training.
5. UNDERSTAND IMPERMANENCE AND NEUTRALITY
We touched on this during the introduction, but it’s worth repeating: negative thoughts are fleeting and temporary; without any real power of their own.
No matter what negative thoughts cross your mind, it is crucial to understand these concepts. In fact, you can even create and recite a maxim, for example, “This is a negative thought. I’ll observe but not engage, as it will quickly flee.”
One terrific way to demonstrate the powerlessness of a negative thought is to distract yourself. Do something that will occupy your mind, so there’s no room for the negative thoughts.
We wish you peace, happiness, self-love and self-compassion.
